Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Tragedy of John & Kate

I must admit that I have not been a faithful follower of the popular TLC show "John & Kate plus 8." Jennifer has watched the show from time to time and so I have seen a few episodes and had a chance to see their story. That being said I watched their "special" episode last night with her. I can truly say I came away saddened and heartbroken. If you are one of the few who have not heard by now, John and Kate are ending their 10 year marriage. 10 YEARS...10 YEARS! And yet as I contemplate that, I understand that according to Jennifer something like 75% of all marriages with multiples end in divorce.

My purpose in writing about this is NOT, repeat NOT, to pass blame on one or the other or decry their decision as a HORRIBLE SIN as some might chose to do, but just to share my thoughts on the tragedy of divorce. As you read understand that I have never personally experienced the tragedy of divorce; thank God my parents have been married going on close to 40 years. Without going into details Jennifer's parents divorced when she was young and we have had to deal with those dynamics since we were dating as teenagers.

The reason I see John and Kate's divorce as something to mourn is not solely for the children as most will assuredly speak of (including themselves), but rather because of what has happened to the relationship they once shared. I view marriage as a sacred covenant that God Himself instituted; not the current held view of society and law that marriage is a social contract. My beliefs as a Christian convince me that a husband and wife are united and made one flesh and that is why the Bible speaks of not being able to tear the marriage bond asunder.

I realize no one is perfect, most of all me, mistakes are made, personalities clash, things change, but marriages are not kept solely on emotion. It takes commitment, understanding, and yes love...unconditional love. Whether it is John and Kate, your neighbors, your parents, or even yourself when we become selfish and want things our way, problems are bound to develop, differences will be magnified and vilified.

Though I have fallen short many, many, many, many (you get the idea!) times, as men our example is how Jesus loves the Church. For those of you aware of this you know that Christ sacrificed Himself for the Church (that's all of us Christians). If you aren't aware of this, in the Bible's New Testament, the book of Ephesians, Paul writes that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. He writes inspired by God, "For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church." (Ephesians 5:25-29, New Living Translation) I don't include this to place the blame at John's feet, I include this because I'm a man and therefore writing from the male perspective. That and I believe that God has given the husband the task of leading his household as the spiritual leader and therefore Paul was concerned more with the husband's ability to live out this divine task.

I can't point to one issue or one moment in time and say, "See, here it is, here is where John & Kate went wrong!", nor would I want to do so. My simple point is that John and Kate have made a mutual decision to go separate ways and I grieve that decision. It would be my hope that the lesson everyone learns from this tragedy is that it can happen to anyone, and therefore we must strive to not let it happen. Marriage is work, but can be rewarding work and most of all it takes having Christ involved.

Marriage is a beautiful gift God has given the human race and I mourn anytime I hear of a couple's divorce because I know it grieves God as well. I am even praying now that God will intervene and that John and Kate will reconcile, but I don't pray for them because they are some "celebrity couple" and I recognize their face. It should be the prayer of every Christian that reconciliation occur, that should be our prayer for every couple dealing with the possibility of the tragedy of divorce. And for those who would be quick to site examples of abuse or infidelity my response is that of my Savior's, "what is impossible for man is possible for God." God can change any heart if it will but crack just a little to God's love.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

It's the First One So Make It Count

I must say that the task of beginning a blog is a daunting one; who in their right mind would be even remotely interested in what I have to say. It seems to me that we live in a society that thrives on being in constant contact with the world around us; always "in the know" where it concerns our friends and neighbors. And yet I cannot help but sense the possible global impact one's thoughts could have particularly if it is used for the advancement of Christ's Kingdom.

Never before in the history of humanity have we been able to reach so many people with the gospel. Can you imagine what the Apostle Paul could have done if our technology had been available to him? And while all of this technology is at our fingertips we Christians cower and hide or insipidly pass along pointless emails that either are suppose to make us laugh or make us feel guilty.

My point in all of this ranting is to encourage and challenge to make it count...whatever we do, do it for the glory of God. The moment is right, the time is now, use every opportunity God gives you to impact the world around you with the gospel: Christ crucified, buried, raised.